The Holiday Blues.

It happens every year with varying degrees of intensity.  While everyone else is excitedly comparing costumes and planning Thanksgiving road trips I am pining for home.  But is it home anymore?  Let’s put it this way I wish I was in England with friends and family.  But do I still have friends in England?  I’ve been here for 12 years now and a lot has changed.  Lives move on.  What is it that I really miss?  Is it the familiarity and security of where I grew up?  Is it my family that has almost doubled in size since I left?  Would I really move back if the opportunity presented itself or is it just a fleeting moment of seeing it all through rose tinted spectacles?

Every year I go back to the UK for a couple of weeks and I have a fabulous time – then I’m ready to get back here.  So if I went back to England would I miss the US the same way?  Would it be fair to uproot the children?  Could I go back knowing my Husband has zero desire to go back?  What would we do for a living given our business is here?  I ask myself the same questions every year and feel more and more backed into a corner.  It’s the eternal conundrum.  The longer we stay here the more roots we have here, and the more I miss England.  Can I have my cake and eat it please?  I sometimes feel like I’m skating the surface of life, avoiding getting in too deep with friendships or communities – because that would just make moving back even tougher no?  Is it time to accept Atlanta as home and stop dipping my toe in and go skinny dipping exposing all to everyone?  Answers on a postcard please.

On a lighter note we went to Abattoir last night to celebrate MM’s birthday.  It all went well and fun was had up until the main course arrived.  I ordered hanger steak – yum – errr not so much – it was covered in a rich hollandaise sauce.  So in my very British manner what did I do?  I wittered on about it to MM instead of returning it to the Chef, after all I got what I ordered.  Next time I’ll go for the beet salad.

I did have a new outift to wear – the AllSaints Amei dress in petrol is fabulous – so comfy and easy to wear.  It has two ties inside it that you tie behind your neck so you can adjust the length of the drape at the front and wear it tunic length or longer.  It was chilly yesterday so I layered it over an H&M vest/dress in black.  After seeing Doesmybumlook40 in her Dorothy Perkins coated jeggings I discovered they do free shipping to the US and ordered a pair before there was a rush on them.  As she says they are fabulously comfortable and felt really dressy.  I wore the pony hair Nine West Haywire shoe boots, and then topped it all off with the Boden leather jacket from back in the sale and my Zara camo scarf.

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8 Comments

  1. I know exactly where you’re coming from – been here 17 years and every year about this time I start getting a little meloncholy (time to crank out military band music again!!), for me it seems to be the hype around Halloween (I hate Holloween) and the total lack of Guy Fawkes night that sets me off! That said I don’t go back as much as I’d like and I know I couldn’t every live back in England full time – my children are older that yours (High School and Middle School) and it just wouldn’t be fair to them and we wouldn’t have the lifestyle we have over here…..we have a little bit of land and lots of animals! But I don’t ever really consider America my “home” – still haven’t got my citizenship……just not sure it’s something I really want although I do think it would make life infinately easier to deal with! So the answer is there is no answer….your outfit looked fabulous though:-))

    • Hi Pauline – I know I could never go back – I just wish I felt more integrated here sometimes. Not having been to college here it’s sometimes harder to infiltrate a group of people who have all known each other for years! Citizenship really hasn’t changed anything – it was nice being able to have a say on Tuesday though! xx

  2. You look so cool British in that drapey grey top and jacket – you have not lost that style that I love in England. There is a place called Abattoir (sp?) sounds like my kind of place, I was brought up eating all sorts of offall-y things…I’ve been here for 11 years in California and still miss London and New Zealand which – bizarrely – equally and differently, still feel like home.

    • Hi Jody! Yes Abattoir was based on the whole animal concept – my OH used to love their tripe casserole! They had to tame their menus though as they found the American pallet wasn’t quite ready for heart and tongue:) Great to hear from you – thanks for commenting!

  3. I just found your blog and I am so glad I did. I couldn’t agree more with your comments and I love your honesty, you said things that I only think! I am a scot living in Arizona and I do miss a lot of my old life, we are on our second stint here – 3 years and counting! For all the same reasons as you, going back is not an option. I am lucky as I get back both in the summer and then in January, I treat myself to a week seeing my mum and sisters (oh and a little shopping of course!).

    I do like your style, it reminds me a lot of what I would see back in the UK and your writing is like reading an email from a friend. And a wee thank you for making me open my eyes to some of the other great brands that I could be ordering online (nearest decent shops are 2.5 hours drive away!) Currently I only buy Boden and Toast online only and now I am excited for the snow to go, Spring to arrive and Zara, H&M and, All Saints here I come!

    • Oh my goodness Fiona this is one of the loveliest comments I’ve ever had! So glad you took the time to write! No one, but people like us, quite understands the dilemma of living abroad! I’m off back on my own next week to visit my Mum and Dad and siblings and their kids – I can not wait! I will miss my children but they are fine here at school while I indulge in a bit of Blighty! Not sure if you have seen the post yet – but I have a great affinity with Scotland – lots of holidays there then my OH and I met at St. Andrews University:)

      Please pop back and say hi anytime – I want to hear about your purchases!!! xx

  4. It’s a small world sometimes! My husband graduated from St. Andrews in 1990 – probably a wee bit before you were there. We love the East Neuk so have spent many a happy holiday there, we even got engaged in St Andrews!

    My shopping this January was significantly curtailed as I was bringing back a load of Christmas pressies and my luggage allowance was at the max! I have found a way round this though, I just do a little shopping in terminal 5, which becomes a little extra carry on. Last time it was a beautiful pair of broques from Kurt Geiger!

    Have a great time in the UK, and I definitely will be coming back to hear all about your trip and to see if you were tempted to buy anything!

    • That’s so funny!! I was there 89-92 and my Husband was there from 85-92 – he did his PhD there too. We worked and lived above The Central Bar – I’m sure you know it:) Dave was also captain of the football team for a while…small world indeed! The Balaka is still my favorite curry house! xxx

I love hearing your thoughts and I will reply as soon as I can if you have a specific question! If you prefer email you can contact me at Joanna@Poppys-Style.com. Thanks for taking the time to comment xx